AND NOW THE END IS NEAR

Thanks everyone for the very encouraging comments!
Today I have been for an interview with Ealing Council. I think it went quite well, but you never really know. I also had to do a test which was interesting. Took me back to very bad maths exams. Maths was not my strong point when I was 16 and it is not any better now!
Tomorrow is my last day at work and in many ways it is sad to leave as I have made some great friends, but I hope to keep in touch with people which is great! It has been a wierd experience as I never really knew why I was there, but I believe that God did put me here and it is right to move on! It would be good to know what else is in store but I am sure that is all in hand!
Drinks tomorrow night which should be a laugh and then Holidays!!!! First just a week mooching and interviews registering etc (Maybe I'll hear about the job from today's interview!) and then a weekend with my Big Bro and a week in sunny Devon (please Lord).

YOU CAN'T TURN BACK THE CLOCK. BUT YOU CAN WIND IT UP AGAIN.

The count down begins! I officially finish work at my current employee on the 26th August. only 8 days to go!
Thus far I have no new job. I have one interview with Ealing Council next Thursday and I have just posted an application to Greenford High School. I have also applied to Tearfunds temporary admin pool and will be submitting my CV to a recruitment agent for temp or perm work!
I am starting to get a bit concerned, although I do know that God has it all in hand. As Tessa said to me the other day"He (God) is never late, but he's always on time".
I am really looking forward to our holiday at the beginning of September and it looks like I am going to have 2 weeks off although I would like to have some work on my return.

Have a great few days, on Saturday we went to Cambridge and spent time with lovely people Michael & Rachel, Hannah & Reuben. They are the only people I seem to cry with laughter with!
Last night we spent time with Jesse & Marie ( he is feeling better!) and they were giving me some very helpful careers advise!

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE

We are here in Birmingham for the BWA Centinary Congress!
Thought I was getting away from all the bombs and manhunt but they seem to have been hiding up here.
Very funny seeing random people from all over the world walking around town wearing their badges and carrying groovey bags!(Pete & I have abandoned ours!)
Have established contact with the Wickers and look forward to catching up with them and not thinking about work until Monday!!!!

THE DIFFICULTIES OF LIFE ARE INTENDED TO MAKE US BETTER NOT BITTER

Life seems very distracted at the moment. The bombings in London have left me with anxiety. Yesterday I was able to voice my fear to Pete, and not leave it eating away at me. Pete is at a meeting up town this morning and although I know he has to go and we all here in London have no choice but to continue life as "Normal", it doesn't stop me from feeling apprehensive.

At the same time I am back to square one with employment. After a family discussion (with Pete) we have an idea of where life may go, but in the mean time I probably have to get another admin job to see us through to where God may be leading. So far the panic of my imminent unemployment has not set in, but I am sure it soon will.

We are also searching for a holiday destination. The two possible cheap options are unavailable. POO. Looking for somewhere that can fit us and another couple and their 1 year old, that is cheap, somewhere nice and available around the second week of September. Boy do we need a holiday!

SMOOTH SEAS DO NOT MAKE SKILFUL SAILORS

Today I am not at Live8, I am not in Edinburgh to Make Poverty History, I am work!! This is my third Saturday in row! I have decided that 6 day weeks are not good for you! However next Saturday will be the last I work for a while! (I hope).

The latest news on my life is that I have handed in my notice at work and given 2 months! As of 1st September I do not have a job! I am on the look out for something, but am taking my time as I am not sure what to do! Life here at work has become difficult for many reasons, the majority of the staff team feel uneasy and next week we have 3 new members of staff starting that we all found out about purely by chance! (Very random stuff)

So If you hear of anything that makes you think "Suzie could do that!" then let me know!

Was looking forward to a picnic tomorrow but weather looks a bit grim!

EVERYDAY COMES WITH IT'S OWN GIFTS. UNTIE THE RIBBONS

Yesterday I received a letter from UCAS saying that I have not been accepted to study to be an Occupational Therapist! Surprisingly I am OK about it. Everyone else seems more disappointed than me! Of course I am disappointed, however at least I can say that I tried and I can't regret not trying.

What now? Well at the moment I am working all the hours as my part timer is off which means I am working 4 Saturdays in a row and lots of 8pm finishes! I am a little bit tired and the weather doesn't help. I am looking for another job or at least seeing what my options are. I am not sure estate agency is for me!

I am a little depressed as everyone is talking about their holiday plans and we don't have any! At the moment the closest I will get to a holiday is The Baptist World Alliance in Birmingham at the end of July for 3 days! Finding an available time and the money to have a holiday are proving a little difficult!

TO BE OR NOT TO BE THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Well that is it, I have done it! My application for University is flying through cyber space as I sit here blogging! I feel excited, apprehensive, sick, scared, worried and free all at the same time!
I'll keep you posted as to what happens next! A big thank you to all those of you who have helped me, (Larry & Claire) with my personal statement and giving me a glowing reference. And to all my truly wonderful friends for being so encouraging when I mentioned doing this and all your on going support!! You all know who you are! xxxx

NATURE DOES NOT HURRY, YET EVERYTHING IS ACCOMPLISHED

After setting myself the goal of having my UCAS form in by last Friday, this has still not been achieved! We were out every night last week! Monday back from Exeter. Tuesday out for a Greek meal with cell group. Wednesday we had Paul and Claire for dinner. Thursday lovely dinner with Buddy & Alex (& Gracie!). Yesterday was a day off as I am working right now for the day! And yet I still didn't get any work done on my form as we had to head to Kent at 11am via Bloomsbury to see the Leveson family for lunch and the day and then to watch Toby (9) in "Me and My Girl". It was a great day and Toby was brilliant! Great spending time with Isobel & Elliot. We arrived home at 12.15am and so am v tired and at work and thinking have tonnes to do!

A SMILE IS A POWERFUL WEAPON

I am trying to apply to university through UCAS. Nobody told me that this would be the hardest part of trying to get into university. It's basically a whole other language. Plus it is so long since I was at school, trying to remember my education (which I have spent the last 8 years trying to forget) is very difficult. Am considering who may be able to help with this. I'm sure I know some high school teachers who would help! The UCAS web sire does hold a lot of info it's just wading through it to find what you actually want to know. You can apply on line which I am attempting to do but we shall see. My aim is to have submitted my application by the end of the week.

TODAY IS A GIFT. THATS WHY WE CALL IT THE PRESENT

Never fear I have not been carried off by aliens never to be seen again, I am still here! However things have been a little difficult as the boss went through my internet history and found out I had been blogging and looking for other jobs!!!! (I think that warrants exclamation marks). He confronted me and I told him I wasn't earning enough. He has since told me not to leave offered me more money if I commit till Christmas, or tell him I will leave and they will start looking for someone else and I can stay until I find something. This added the pressure to what was already turmoil in my head. I don't enjoy making adult decisions. Since then, I have not told boss man my plans, left him waiting! I have decided to look into going to university to study to become a Occupational Therapist!! Might not get in and am not holding breath but watch this space!

Better go before I am discovered again! Secret blogging V scary!

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE EXCEPT FROM A VENDING MACHINE.

As usual the Leveson household has been mega busy. Catching up with friends and relatives alike. My 83 year old Nana and her only slightly younger sister have jetted off to Switzerland for their hols both clutching their newly purchased mobile phones! (I hope I'm like that when I'm old).
Last night was a well deserved night at home in front of the television.
I am currently reading (This in itself is shocking), a book called "Why do I do this everyday?" Its a book for people who feel disaffected by their work and helps you to think through what you want to do, what environment you work best in and what your work values are etc. It encourages you to make up your own mind about things even if it is just to stay where you are but having a different outlook on your work place or if it is time to think about a new career.
At the moment I am not sure where I am with work etc. Realistically I would like to do not much at all, although perhaps if I was utilising all my gifts etc I would enjoy work more?
The book has definitely made me think, although not always great realising things about yourself. One thing I have realised is that I have a fear of not being good enough! I Have loads of ideas of what I would like to do even if it's just hobbies, but I don't even go and try it as I think that I will not be good enough so why bother trying?! Silly I know.
Anyway I'll see if any revelations come to me, other than knowing I need to get away from my current job.

I think I managed to write a whole blog entry with only 2 exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE BANK HOLIDAYS!

The fabulous May bank holidays are beginning! What Joy fills my heart!
My lovely big brother was meant to be coming to London for the weekend but due to circumstances is not now which is quite sad, but also means we have some free time! (something that we don't always have a lot of!)
The weather is meant to be fantastic at the weekend, fingers crossed!!!!
Went to a fair trade party on Wednesday and sadly resisted the temptation to buy a lovely leather bag!! It was handbag heaven, my dream world. I had a few in my hands and just visualised Pete's face if I had come home with yet another handbag!
I'm glad in the bible it doesn't say if you have 2 handbags you should give one a way to your sister!!!(Joke!)
Anyway am looking forward to a weekend that doesn't involve rushing here, there and everywhere!!!

WEEKEND MADNESS!!!

Excellent weekend!
Started with a lie in!!! Then a trip to the hairdressers (Always gives you a lift!). Then we headed on up to Birmingham at lunchtime to meet the lovely Sarah and Lucy Wicker in town for a mooch around the shops! Then Gary found us after he had finished work!
We all went home and had the best Indian takeaway!!
Saturday was spent in the ICC at the Baptist Union Assembly!! Not as Yawnworthy as expected!!! Lots of thought provoking things said and seen!
Saw Les Dennis crossing the bridge next to us!
Sunday morning we got up at 6.30am to get back to church for 9am to lead the worship and be apart of Miranda Reed's dedication! A great time was had and it was interesting seeing some old faces from the past!
Pub quiz as usual although with some new faces!! And the news that next week really be the last one due to closure for refurbishment!
I am now very tired and still trying to figure out what to do with life etc!! Although I am feeling a little happier than last week!!

Looking forward to another long weekend with the bank holiday coming up next week and time to catch up with my big bro!

BRING ON THE FOUR DAY WEEK!

I am nearly at the end of my four day week and I can't wait until tomorrow when I can have a lie in! I am V tired even though we had a week off last week!

The purpose of our day off is to head back up to Birmingham for the Baptist Union Assembly day! Might be interesting, I have my voting cards at the ready! Reall, I'm looking forward to seeing my lovely friend Sarah again as I miss her lots and also the evening concert of the BU looks like it could be quite good!!

We are then getting up at the crack of dawn to head back to ealing for Miranda Reeds dedication and first birthday! This also is set to be a good time and lots of friends getting together many of whom are not christians!

Lets hope the sun has got his hat on!

Almost forgot, on Tuesday, I receieved a belated birthday pressie from Matt and Hazel currey of 2 balls of wool, some knitting needles and a lovely bag from India to keep it all in!! Am now obsessed with knitting! Jumped from 27 stiches to 33 last night!! However my lovely Mum was there to sort me out and get me back on track! Watch out Pete I'll be knitting you lovely tasteful jumpers soon!

BACK TO REALITY!!!!!

I am now another year older (Although still nowhere near as old as my lovely husband!) . I have now been back at work for 2 days and it hasn't changed much in a week!! All the difficult cases I hoped would be dealt with in my absence weren't! Thank goodness I had a lovely efficient girl keeping on top of some of my basic paper work!
I am still thinking about where my life is going, what I should be doing! What is my role in life? I just don't seem to be getting anywhere with it all! I think I am still feeling a bit unsettled not knowing what might happen when my colleague returns from maternity leave!??
What is most depressing is the fact that everything always comes down to money!
I have scoured the various media's for jobs and there just doesn't seem to be anything around!
Maybe God's telling me to stay here, but then I wish he would give me a clearer idea and more of an enthusiasm for being here!
I always sound so depressed and really life ain't so bad! We have a nice flat (although far too expensive!), and we have great friends ( I received 16 text messages on my birthday!Thanks guys!), my family are wonderful, and I am married to an amazing man of God!
I think I will try and smile more today and think positively!
Here goes ;-)

HOLIDAY!, CELEBRATE!

I am trying to focus my mind to ensure that all my work gets done before I head off on my hols tonight, but all I really want to do is go!

Looking forward to another evening with the delightful Wickers in Brum!

A table has been booked in Bar Roma, my favourite resteraunt in Edinburgh for Monday night for celebrating my 26th birthday and our 7th Wedding anniversary!!

And all I can say is bring on the CHOCOLATE SOUP! (A must for all visitors to Edinburgh! Never mind the Castle!)

UNSETTLED

Can't wait for Friday, however it seems so far away, as I have soooo much work to do before then and lots of little things to remember!

The person I took over from in January (maternity cover) came in yesterday and is looking to come back to work part time in June! I am not sure where that leaves me however as we can not really afford for me to work part time, (nice as that would be!) and I don't really want to go back to the lettings side of things for various reasons! It's all a bit pie in the sky but it is always better to prempt things if you ask me!

I think I will take my holiday to think through my options, but as usual everything comes down to money! Was thinking the other week about possibly studying as didn't bother when I left school! (What I would study is a whole other question!)

BAD DAY IN THE OFFICE!

Boss man is in a foul mood and threatening to sack someone as no one listens to him! Then maybe we might start!

Not the best atmosphere to be working in on a Monday morning!

GOOD TIME HAD BY ALL!

We had a lovely weekend! Good to see those we love dearly! Also a big shout out to the very special Laura & Dave Traneer on the birth of baby Lila. Hope all goes well now that she is finally here! Also congrats to the Phillips Ladies, enjoy being aunties and Grandma! We love you all!

Great to spend Saturday with Lucy Wicker celebrating her first birthday! Twas fun!
I am now very tired and am counting down the days till Holiday!!!!
Friday Birmingham, Saturday Edinburgh and then home Thursday. Friday Guildford and then onto Farnham Castle for the weekend!

BRING IT ON! - I'm not sure I will want to return to work after that! However maybe it will give me some thinking time!

I have done Strengthsfinder.com and discovered my strengths!

DEVELOPER
WOO (Winning others over)
EMPATHY
RESPONSIBILITY
HARMONY

All of these describe me perfectly, but I had hoped for some new revelation that would help me decide which direction to go in my life!

We shall see - Seems like everyone at work is considering leaving but no one knows what else to do!

LONG WEEK

How can a four day week be so long?
It has been really hectic week here at work and I have had to mop up some messes that I made which makes it worse!
The Easter weekend was great! Friday pete was still poorly so I took our friends kids to Kew on my own, but the 4 of us had a great time and really enjoyed ourselves, running around, climbing and then we went home and had McDonald's!
Saturday our friends came up from Rye and we just had a chill out few days!
On Monday we went to TGI's in Watford for Buddy's birthday and we got to see their 2 week old baby! Gracie is just cute! Even Pete gave her a cuddle (Normally unheard of where babies are concerned)
We then went to Enfield to have dinner with Neil & Amanda and on the way we stopped at Krispie Kreame (Lovely!) Our time with Neil & Amanda was great!

Then back to work!!!!! However there is hope in sight, we are going to Birmingham for Lucy's 1st Birthday tomorrow, spending time with the lovely Matt & Jo 2night and the pub quiz on Sunday. Then it is just one week until we head off to Edinburgh for a little holiday! A whole week off work - Praise the Lord!